Blog Post

Want to be happier? Get scared

Marsya Ancker, BA, E-RYT • Jun 24, 2020

Break out of your comfort zone, and find your Happy 

sign in woods saying End of Comfort Zone, This way to HAPPINESS
Want to be happier? Ask yourself this question: What are you afraid of?

Two weeks after my 18th birthday, my backpack, my Eurail Pass, and I set off on a months-long, solo backpacking trip around Europe. In the months leading up to my trip countless people asked me versions of the same question, "Aren't you scared?" My answer was, "Scared of what?" 

We've all done & not done things out of fear. 

Maybe you've stayed at a job you don't like because the pay is good. Maybe you've stayed in relationships that aren't working because you're afraid of being alone. Maybe you avoid speaking up in meetings because you're afraid you'll be embarrassed. Maybe you don't try new foods because you're afraid you won't like them. Maybe you've held back from expressing your feelings for someone because you're afraid you'll be rejected. 

When I left on that backpacking trip, I considered myself shy, not very good with people and (because I'd been bullied throughout my childhood) I expected people to respond to me with hostility. Meeting new people, interacting with people at all, was kind of a scary thing for me. 

As a solo-traveler, however, I soon realized that on those long train rides I could either twiddle my thumbs as I watched the world roll by all by my lonesome or, I could "talk to the person on my left" (...or across from me, on my right, really anyone within a 10 foot radius). So, I turned to the person seated next to me and said, "Hi! I'm Marsya 😊" (Always lead with a smile, when introducing yourself 😉 ) Like magic, the person smiled back at me, and I was no longer alone! The world had suddenly become a friendlier, less scary place, all because I took that leap outside my comfort zone.

(Side note: COMMUNITY  - CONNECTION - BELONGING - those are the things that make us the happiest. They are also the things that most people say they would like more of. 

That leap outside my comfort zone was also a reach outside my bubble to touch someone else, to make a connection. 

Most people are living in their bubbles, trying not to bump into other peoples' bubbles, when what they really long for isn't isolation, it's connection. If you reach out to someone with a smile, a kind word, a compliment, you will be amazed at how willing people are to reach back, and how happy both of you will be that you did.)

We can go through life looking for all the things that can go wrong and protecting ourselves against those foreseeable threats. Despite our best efforts, sometimes we're still going to get a metaphorical "bonk on the head."

We can also go through life blithely expecting that everything is all going to work out for the best. If we do that, sometimes we're still going to get a "bonk on the head." 

Either way, we're going to get those metaphorical "bonks on the head," hurt, disappointment, heartbreak...

The difference is, one way you're living in a state of fear that sucks the joy out of your day to day moments, and the other way you spend most of your time feeling pretty good.  

So, what path will you choose? 

Don't hesitate to reach out with your questions & feedback. We love hearing from you!
Wishing you a day filled with light, laughter & growth!
Marsya~
p.s.
For a humorous, witty, wise, discussion of the sentiment I expressed above, check out the video below by the #wokeAF 
JP Sears
By Marsya Ancker, BA, E-RYT 26 Jun, 2020
Play, recess, and physical education improve the ability to handle stress by "training” the body. Play, particularly play that stimulates the vestibular system (the part of the inner-ear responsible for our sense of balance and spatial orientation), activates areas of the brain critical to our ability to pay attention, turn our thoughts into actions, coordinate movement and respond to sensory data. Swinging, rolling, jumping, crawling, rocking, and tumbling (all of which stimulate the vestibular system) are, therefore, crucial not only for your child's physical development but also for their cognitive development and their mental health... and those needs don't change much as we get older. Activities like running, jumping or playing tag help develop the experience needed to recover faster from the quick surges of adrenaline associated with both physically demanding activity and emotionally stressful environments. This increases your emotional resilience and lowers levels of chronic stress. These things are also a LOT of fun, which is why it's no surprise that students who are engaged in daily physical education programs consistently show superior motor fitness, better academic performance and a better attitude toward school than students who do not participate in daily physical education. (Do you remember log-rolling down hills when you were a kid?! Who needs roller coasters!) Happily, this leads to an obvious conclusion: If you want to help your children develop to their fullest potential and live their happiest, best lives, tell them to “go play." If you want to bring more joy, balance and “coping capacity” into YOUR life, “go play”! Have an at home dance party, move your groove thing, jump up and down like a maniac, wave your hands in the air like you just don't care, roll down a hill, hold hands while you spin in a circle, get outside, play tag, do a cartwheel, jump for joy! Fifteen minutes a day can make a world of difference… Wishing you a day filled with light, learning & joy! Marsya~ To learn more, check out Teaching with the Brain in Mind, 2nd Edition by Eric Jensen Partial Bibliography Why & How Physical Activity Promotes Experience-Induced Brain Plasticity , by Kempermann et al, published by Frontiers In Neuroscience , 2010
Mandala with the Sanskrit OM in the center
By Marsya Ancker, BA, E-RYT 29 Jan, 2020
Have you tried meditating and found it boring or frustrating? You're not alone! Give Om-ing a try. Om-ing has been proven to reduce stress & anxiety and to treat depression. It's also Om-ing fun & easy. Shift your vibration & try Om-ing today
By Marsya Ancker, BA, E-RYT 24 Jan, 2020
You might already be familiar with JP Sears, of Ultra Spiritual Life fame. If not, the next time you want a good laugh along with your words of wisdom, enter his name in your YouTube search field and click on one of his many videos. Because he came to my attention with his videos like "How to get offended," "How to be spiritual" & "Prancercise," I didn't realize that JP Sears is also a life coach with real wisdom to share until I clicked on the video above. His perspective on why people become narcissists and why people become involved with narcissists was refreshingly direct. It can be hard to break unhealthy relationship patterns. We've spent a lifetime building them and, in some form or another, they've worked for us. Often, however, the systems that we create to "keep us safe" in one situation don't translate well. We end up building walls that keep other people out and leave us feeling isolated & alone. Using a variety of tools including Reiki, Guided Meditation , and more, I can help you get to the heart of what's creating these patterns, so you can make the shift. If you'd like to make an energetic shift, if you want to understand the WHY behind the WHAT... If you would like to feel the FREEDOM of moving forward fearlessly, unencumbered by old-baggage that is no longer serving you, book a Wellness-work session today. Don't hesitate to reach out with your questions & feedback. We love hearing from you! Wishing you a day filled with light, laughter & growth! Marsya~
the WOW-bell is a tool you can use to deliver Positive Reinforcement & encourage resilience
By Marsya Ancker, BA, E-RYT 14 Jan, 2020
What makes you feel good? What makes your KIDS feel good? A sense of accomplishment & feeling appreciated (aka a sense of acknowledgement) can take a bad day & turn it good. A WOW-bell is a fun way to give kids the sense of accomplishment & appreciation they need to develop the kind of resilient mindset, the can-do attitude, that will lead to growth, learning & happiness in the present and greater success in the long-term.
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